A Love Letter to Nondualism
Part 1 of N: A series on why and what I'm building now, starting with my personal operating system.
"I could see that the intricate organization both of the plants and of my own nervous system, alike symphonies of branching complexity, were not manifestations of intelligence—as if things like intelligence and love were in themselves substances or formless force. It was rather that the pattern itself is intelligence and is love, and this somehow in spite of all its outwardly stupid and cruel distortions." -Alan Watts
I. Existential Isolation
I’ve swam in waves of existential isolation for as long as I can remember. I suppose we all do. The full responsibility of my life, my impact, my self-efficacy in painful environments, and my pursuit of hedonic pleasure has always felt better than dipping into a helplessness at being vaulted by life and chance. But the depths of existential isolation are scary, and I found no lasting salve in family, religion, romance, achievements, travel, or hallucinogens. The echoing thoughts
“Why do I exist?”
“Why does any of this exist?”
were met with silence.
The highest truth I arrived at reverberates off of Alan Watts' writing. To exist is to be an embodiment of love. The only thing that matters while we are alive is reconnecting with the deep nondual love that we came from and that (I believe) we return to when we die.
I read that in ancient Persia the Sufis had a saying:
"If the creator represents absolute good,
and therefore absolute beauty,
it is the nature of beauty to desire manifestation."
I believe consciousness exists because it is the nature of love to desire manifestation.
If you had asked me years ago about nondualism, I would have laughed “I am not the chair” and continued to search for a philosophy that included past lives. Yet here is where I've arrived - enamored with nondualism as a philosophy that has provided me with great comfort.
I've landed on a definition of nondualism that reflects a oneness of love and deep connection between myself and everything that exists.
The echoing thoughts, while perhaps absurdly obvious, are now striking a higher truth for me:
“Why do I exist?” Love.
“Why does any of this exist?” Love.
IV. Now What?
If what matters and what is true is love and connection, what does it mean to live a life that expands on this?
When cold, we gather round the hearth before the blazing fire.
What does it mean to build a Hearth?
Stay tuned for more soon 🔥